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Writer's pictureFallyn Smith, MSW, PPSC

Curiosity Questions


Curiosity questions are magic. They are questions that help your child get to the desired answer while preventing resistance and inviting cooperation by providing an opportunity for your child to think, choose and feel capable. Turn your statement or command into a question and you have yourself a curiosity question.


As humans, when someone tells us what to do, our brains automatically put up at least some resistance. When we are asked a question, it stirs our creative brain and we are more open to figuring out the answer and therefore, feeling in control and more willing to follow through. Throughout the day, just notice how many times you are telling your child what to do. Then, take it a step further by asking yourself, how can you turn your commands into questions. Remember, these questions are not asking permission or giving them an option of not doing the task ("Do you want to do your homework?"). It's to help your child develop their executive functioning skills of making a plan while feeling capable. ("What's your plan for getting your homework done?")


This will take practice so be easy with yourself. Make sure you are using a kind tone when asking your questions. Your child may not know the answer or have a plan, so offer help in finding a solution by using limited choices.


Here are some examples:

"Do your homework." "What's your plan for getting your homework done?"

"Stop fighting." "How can you and your brother solve this problem?"


"Don't do that."

"What were you trying to accomplish?"


"Put your dish in the sink."

"Where does your plate go when you're done with dinner?


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